


Haydrien's Way

by JediPeter



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, OC
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-30
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:53:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26726992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JediPeter/pseuds/JediPeter
Summary: A newly Knighted Jedi Shadow's story from before the Clone Wars through the Fall of the Republic.
Kudos: 1





	1. Chapter 1

Newly risen Jedi Knight Reth Haydrien sat in contemplation of the stars and death. The void, the Force, the light and dark. He had recently been made a full Shadow. There were some that hadn’t wanted to see him Knighted after his Master’s fall to the dark side. But with Dooku’s absence from the Order, and his Master’s recent death, there was a spot to be filled in the ranks of the warriors who fought the dark side and hunted down Sith artifacts. And with the galaxy growing darker by the day, the Council of First Knowledge couldn’t very well ignore a fully trained Shadow who had just defeated a dark Jedi in single combat. That the dark Jedi had been his former master was the reason for debate. Some thought he would Fall shortly if given unrestricted access to the Archives and information regarding Sith artifacts. Others, more attuned to the emotions of others, felt the anguish he was still wrestling with given his master had fallen to the dark side. They discerned he would not fall. He was determined not to. He would never put someone else in the situation where he would have to be put down. 

If he’d seen the signs sooner.  _ No _ . If he’d known what to do with the signs. That was the difference maker. He’d had nowhere to go. Nobody to speak to when his concerns came up. It led to discussions of a system of communication that circumvented individual Masters, but it was still in discussion and he knew it wouldn’t be changed. He was on the move often enough that he wouldn’t be around to be there for the discussions of the merits of such a system. Part of him hoped to be around for a Padawan that would potentially need someone to discuss things with. Part of him saw the horror of such a situation where another Knight or Master fell to the dark side. And part of him knew the foolishness of such a situation. He wouldn’t be likely to interact with many Jedi in his role. He didn’t even wear the robes most of the time because they were a dead giveaway. His closet at the Temple had most of them. His closet here on the old mining station had space suits, flight suits, ponchos, but mostly combat trousers with shirts to match, boots that were heavier, but shorter, than the typical Jedi boot, and jackets that he was in the process of modifying to hold a lightsaber unobtrusively. He grabbed the blaster he’d conned a Selonian out of in a game of chance that held no chance at all when the Force was in play. It wasn’t new by any means, but it looked mostly unused. A Blastech A-110. It was the base model, no fancy reconfiguration options like were rumored for some of the newer models, but he didn’t anticipate using it much anyway. He just needed something that was well known enough to put off the casual mugger. 

“Well-” he coughed. Several hours without using his voice made it sound like he was croaking, not talking. 

“Ape, ya there?”

Metallic shuffling came from the area behind him.

“I am, sir. I would appreciate it if you would refer to me by my designation though.”

“Sure thing, AP-3. Forgive me. You’ve asked me to do so before. Old habits die hard, I guess.” 

“Yes. Mistress Zavara was a bit cavalier in her manner.” 

Reth studiously avoided looking at the twin char marks on the wall behind AP-3 as the droid shuffled up. 

“How can I assist you, Master Haydrien?”

Reth groaned. “You’re gonna call me Haydrien every time I forget and call you Ape, aren’t you?”

“It had not occurred to me to keep track of things that way, but if you would like me to, I can.”

Reth squinted at the green eyes of the droid. They didn’t quite match the paint job because they were luminous, but it was close. “Deal. It’ll teach me to call you by your designation faster.”

“I will endeavor to remind you then, Master Reth.”

Reth nodded and gestured back at the colossal transparisteel viewport he’d been looking out. “I know this thing is supposed to have read out abilities on it. Reports, comm calls, even start charts. Any idea why none of it is working?”

“It's nice to see someone finally using this space to its fullest potential. That would be because the display circuits aren’t currently being powered.”

“Why?”

“Nobody replaced the powerpacks. Most of this asteroid runs on the gas the droids are still collecting from the asteroid field, but when several years passed with no sentients living here, the preservation protocols kicked in. The section with the main power capabilities was shut down and auxiliary power has been running things ever since. You can replace the powerpacks every so often, or turn on the main generators again. That will be a more strenuous exercise, but more efficient.”

“Of course,” Reth grumbled. “Lead the way,  _ AP-3 _ .”

“Yes sir.”

A short time later, the main power was back on. Entire wings of the asteroid were now lit that Reth hadn’t even known existed. To be fair though, most of his knowledge of this asteroid came from the limited stays he and Master Zavara had been here. A hangar and a cot were the most they needed before she started turning. Just a stopgap along the edge of the Unknown Regions where Revan and Malak had been rumored to keep an eye on things in the Republic from afar. Designed to be run mostly by droids, it was a mining platform with an extensive communication array to beam transmissions around space. Or that’s what AP-3 told them when they first stumbled across the space. 

Reth decided to hold off on a real shower and settled for sonic after climbing through the ducts to get to the power couplings for the main display. 

“You got a manual on how to read this thing, AP-3,” he asked, waving at the transparisteel behind him. He wasn’t terribly fond of looking at his reflection just yet. It looked odd to not have his Padawan braid anymore. 

“Yes sir.” 

Reth’s datapad chirped and a new file was loaded. 

“Thanks.” He trimmed the notification guide and put it in a static place in the upper left corner of the display itself so he could read the different notifications as they came in easier. One day he’d get rid of it, for now, it was helpful. Especially with a viewport larger than a snubfighter to view. 

“AP-3, this notification doesn’t have a designation, what is it?”

The droid toddled up and glanced at the odd star-shaped designator.

“I don’t know sir.”

Reth glanced at him for a moment longer and then gestured at the display. It opened a full message in video format. 

A zabrak in clean white lab attire popped up on screen with a shot that saw more of his chest than his face. Almost like it had kicked on without him knowing it was recording. Reth almost turned it off until he heard the whispering from the Zabrak.

“I don’t have much time. The lead scientists are close to locating me. They think they’ve made a breakthrough, but I can tell it's not what they think it is.”

The recording shifted. The angle made it look like whatever device this was recorded on was on top of a stack of folders held in the Zabraks’s hands.

“One of them is using the Force in ways that feel sick more than dark, but I can’t tell which one. I’m sending all of the files on to the outpost so that they make their way to Coruscant and the Council. This is beyond my purview as a research assistant. It’ll take a real Jedi.”

Reth perused the files attached and sorted them in order of priority. 

“AP-3, any chance there’s a nickname you  _ would _ enjoy,” he asked without looking up. 

“I would consider ‘Lucky’ if it would be to your preference.” 

Reth stopped what he was doing and turned. “Lucky?”

“I find myself rather fortunate to be functional after so many cycles powered down, and in many cultures the color green is considered to bring good fortune.” 

Reth turned back to the data pack. 

“Lucky it is then. Can you establish a connection to the Jedi Temple on Coruscant?” 

“Certainly.”

It took several minutes to get connected but that gave Reth the chance to sort the rest of the data. Some of it didn’t make sense and all of it was undated.

“Concerning,” he mumbled. 

“This connection is for authorized Jedi only, who are you?” 

Reth raised his head to look at the viewport where a larger than life Gran was apparently miffed at pulling holo operator duty. 

“Authorization code aurek-leth-seven-vev. I need to speak to the Council of First Knowledge.” 

“Only Jedi may use this connection, who are you?”

Reth frowned. 

“Do I need to repeat my authorization code or are you going to connect me?” 

“Listen here you ruffian, I don’t know where you got that code, but you’re no Jedi.”

“Funny, that’s what a lot of people said right before the Knighted me. Patch me through, Padawan.” He’d finally spotted the beads hanging at the edge of the frame from the Gran’s head. 

The Gran’s skin darkened. 

“How dare you-”

“Is there a problem, Bask?” A voice from off screen. 

“Just about to disconnect from some smuggler who got a hold of our comm codes.” 

“Is that Madam Nu?” Reth asked. 

“Who is that?” 

Jocasta Nu entered the frame and Reth smiled at her as her eyes lit up. 

“Reth Haydrien, as I live and breathe.”

“Hello Madam Nu.” 

“Reth it’s Jocasta to you, you know that. What have you done to upset Bask?” 

“Apparently I don’t look enough like a Jedi for her to believe my authorization code was legitimate.” 

Bask paled a bit. Jocasta turned to face her. 

“Did you run the code?”

“No, Madam Nu.” 

“Why not?” 

“I didn’t feel it was legitimate.”

“So you prefer to argue rather than prove a point?” 

The Padawan’s skin darkened in embarrassment again. 

“I have a secure data pack to send to the Council of First Knowledge and wish to have a conference with them as soon as possible.”

“Convenient they are meeting now, isn’t it?” Jocasta’s eyes twinkled. He’d forgotten they could do that when she was feeling ornery. “Though to be fair you are a bit disheveled for a Jedi Knight, Reth. I understand Bask’s confusion, if not her actions.”

Reth sighed. “Undercover work is what it is, Madam Nu.” 

She gave him a light glare at the honorific and patched him through with a smile after extracting a promise that he’d stop by the Archives next time he was on Coruscant. 

“Master Rhusoll has accepted the transmission. Feel free to send the data through at any time. We are secured.” 

Reth smiled as the transmission shifted to the chambers of the Council of First Knowledge.

“Masters. I have a report to send through,” he pressed a button and sent the data, “and some questions about the source.” 

Each Councilor looked at the data and several of them frowned. 

“A research assistant who knows the Force well enough to detect its use?” Came one of the voices. 

“That was my reaction, Master Pledan. Do you recognize him?” 

“No. Which makes this all the more confusing. Some initiates who aren’t chosen as Padawan’s before they age out are sent to the Academies on Coruscant rather than the Agri Corps but I don’t recall any recently.”

The room murmured and Reth tried tweaking the transmission so he could see the entire room. 

Master Pledan spoke up again. “This data has no date in it. Not even a localized system.” 

“Yes masters, I have no point of origin either. I was sorting out the systems here on the asteroid and it popped up.” 

“The asteroid you and Master Zavara used?” 

He nearly stuttered but held it together. 

“Yes, Master.” 

“So there’s no way of verifying the data itself?” 

Green text ran across the bottom of the screen. 

“My protocol droid here has just informed me the data was received nearly a hundred years ago. Due to the protocols in place at the time, there was insufficient power to beam the information directly to the Temple. Since it had been marked secure it wasn’t sent through normal transmitters and sat in the data banks until I turned the main generators on earlier today.” 

“Hm…” the Council took a collective breath as they processed this. 

“Masters, I’d like to investigate further until I find other threads that Zavara kept hidden from me at the end of her life. As you know she was secretive at the end and I can’t very well immediately run through her connections because of her undercover status.” 

“We agree with you, Knight Haydrien.” 

“Thank you masters. Any knowledge you have on the identity of the individual in the transmission is appreciated.” 

Master Rhusoll growled an answer and Reth nodded. 

“I’ll do my best to determine the point of origin from here to begin my investigation. When I have that I’ll set out.” 

“Very well. May the Force be with you, Knight Haydrien.”

“And also with you, Masters.”

Reth prepped the XS light freighter he had yet to christen that he’d found in one of the launch bays of the asteroid. It worked better for undercover work than a Jedi starfighter. Even if it was slower than a  _ Vaya _ class scout. 

He ran his hands over the ancient metal “First mission out and about on our own. What should we call you?”

He reached the ramp and palmed the door controls.

“We are blazing our own trail. How about  _ Fafnir _ ? That means ‘first way forward’ in ancient Nubian. From even before they joined the Republic and adopted Galactic Basic.”

He’d always loved the Naboo and their attitude towards life. Well as much as he could understand from just his studies.

“ _ Fafnir _ . Yes, that’ll do.” He turned to the entrance of the launch bay where Lucky stood just inside the doorway. 

“Any chance this guy is fueled up and ready to go?”

“Indeed sir. You’ll need to do a complete systems check before launch, but it should be just fine if the maintenance records are to be believed.”

“Let's start the check then.”

An hour later he was pulling the  _ Fafnir  _ into the vacuum of space. 

_ First time flying solo too. Master Zavara isn’t here to sleep in the copilot’s seat.  _

“Master Reth, you’re certain you wish to go all the way to Dosunn? It doesn’t make sense.”

“No it doesn’t, but that’s where you said the data packet originated from. I gotta start somewhere.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reth returns to the Temple and makes a new friend.

It was a short jump to Dosunn, so Reth just stayed in the pilot’s seat, dropping it into a full recline. Not the most comfortable move, but he wanted to be close at hand when he dropped out of hyperspace. It didn’t take long.  
A voice crackled over the comm, startling him from his doze.   
“Shuttle Fafnir. This is Dosunn space port. We see you on an approach vector, but our most recent shipment just left. You missed the convoy.”  
Reth squinted. “Acknowledged, space port, I’m not here as part of the shipping convoy.”  
The voice on the comm grunted, “Not sure why you’d want to be here otherwise, but alright. Berth 4 is open. Come by the office as soon as you land and we will see what we can do for you.”   
Reth frowned now, wondering if the man was being troublesome, or if there really was that little happening on Dosunn.   
He landed and secured the ship, making his way to the office. Which also apparently doubled as the communications hub.   
A cleanish looking Human man in a dark green set of coveralls shook Reth’s hand. He was taller than Reth, who was just under two meters tall, and much broader than Reth, but he could tell it was weight that meant useful muscle, not the nearly emaciated look of the Core World primps who did those vanity shows. It matched his leathery looking skin and bushy moustache well.   
Need to remember to get the artificial gravity on the asteroid recalibrated. A bit more than the Coruscant standard should make me stronger without much more effort.  
The man spoke, “Not sure what you’re looking to find here to be honest. All we got is the biggest reserve of one of the ores used in duracrete. Nothing else on this rock is worth looking at.”  
“I’m just following a transmission trail, actually. It said it came from here.”  
“You got the transmission?”  
“It's of a rather private nature.”  
“Ah. You’re probably one of them bounty hunter types.” Reth didn’t correct him, so he shrugged. “Well if it came through here, it hasn’t been in a while. I’m quite content to be here mostly by myself, so I see all the communications that come through, since the droids do all the actual mining. My wife handles the smaller droid repair, and for the large droids we get help from the corporation on account of needing to get a hold of specialty parts. I keep the numbers steady and send projections to the corporation too.”  
“What corporation?”  
“Offworld Corporation. We are technically our own outfit out here, but we’ve got an exclusive agreement with them for purchasing rights.” He puffed himself up a bit at that. “If this was any other planet, they’d have taken over by now, but we are so backwater we aren’t worth the trouble since duraplast is the only thing going for us here. Hoping to save a nice little nest egg for our retirement. Maybe move to Corellia or somewhere.”  
Reth nodded, “You should look at Naboo. It's certainly peaceful there.”  
“I’ll take a look there too. Plenty of other worlds out there, wife is Corellian though, so that makes its way to the top of the list. And I go where she does.”  
He had a content smile on his face, and Reth sensed no deception in him at all.  
“Is there anything else on planet at all?”  
He grunted, “Not a thing. And since we don’t even have a satellite for transmissions, all communication has to go through right here.”  
“Thanks for your time.”  
“Gret. Gret Haralan.”  
“Thanks for your time, Gret.”  
Reth headed back to his ship, puzzled.   
If nothing was here, then why did the communication array say the transmission-  
“Master Reth,” his comm piece chirped in his ear.   
“Go, Lucky.”  
“When Offworld Corporation initiated its partnership with Haralan Mining and Exports, they changed the call sign of the planet on transmissions. That’s why the search led us there first.”  
“Tell me you’ve got something different for me.”  
“Yes, sir. Carida. It used to use the same call sign that Dosunn now uses. Some dust up around a hundred standard years ago had them change it. The transmission is about that old, so it's possible it originated from there before the changeover occurred.”  
“Better than nothing. Thanks, Lucky.”  
“You’re welcome sir.”  
When Reth got back in the Fafnir, he spent some time plotting a route to Carida. It was clear on the other side of the Core, practically next door to Coruscant, but technically the other way just past Corellia. Was it worth it to stop there?   
For fuel, if nothing else since this is a Jedi mission.  
And with that, he plotted the course to Coruscant with a few stopovers at major routes. This particular ship had additional retrothrusters that let the ship adjust itself for the next jump without needing him to be present. As soon as the Fafnir was out of orbit and in hyperspace he headed aft to check the rest of the ship with a more thorough eye than just safety inspections. 

Reth slid one of the ear pieces out of his comm device and slaved it to the voice recorder on his datapad as he ambled through the ship. He had passing familiarity with freighters, but that was more regarding piloting them and working on their engines, not their layouts. Time for a comprehensive layout recording.  
“Directy aft of the cockpit, we have a curving hallway that runs port and starboard. Port leads to crew and captain’s quarters, along with personal storage compartments and workspace. Starboard seems to be an open area for either cargo or land vehicle storage if the seal placement is to be believed. Top loading storage. Further to starboard you get the up and down stairwell to topside for repairs or down to main cargo. Past that you get to supply storage for foodstuffs and the like to be used by the crew. It's just a couple empty storage compartments, but their placement on this level lends itself to this. These two compartments are in a straight line back from the cockpit, and directly aft of them are the two main sublight engine compartments. Past that we are on the starboard side again and coming up to the personnel storage and sleeping quarters as mentioned earlier. Directly below this level is the main cargo area for large shipments. It has an exterior entrance as well for pallet loader gravsleds or moving vehicles. There is a central column that runs through the ship, ladder access only as well and it stops at both the dorsal and lower cannons.”   
Having completed his tour of the ship, he decided to make a bunk up and get some sleep and meditation in during the nearly three day journey to Coruscant from Dosunn.   
Reth Haydrien had never been one for a single skill with the Force. He didn’t excel in any particular area unless he really puth is effort into it, but when he did, he shone. Psychometry and some of the rarer disciplines were beyond him, but riding the currents of the Force in meditation had never been difficult for him.   
Until now.   
Now, he was anxious about what the Force would show him if he sank too far into it. He knew the future was always changing, and that many times attempting to fight against portents of the future had actually caused them to occur, but he also knew the power of the subconscious mind and wasn’t sure if he would influence events one way or the other by accidentally getting a glimpse of a potential future. Which is why he stayed mostly conscious during this meditation. He alternated between sleeping, eating, and meditating. He never let the meditation get too far though before he decided his body needed some additional sustenance, whether that was food or sleep.   
Reth arrived at Coruscant and his ship immediately slid into one of the main lanes leading to the Senate District. He was just making his way to the cockpit when the comm chimed and he dashed forward, using just a touch of the Force to activate it without looking as he slid into his seat.   
“Fafnir this is Coruscant Air Control, what is the purpose for your visit?”   
“I have an appointment at the Jedi Temple.”  
“Fancy. Any cargo to declare?”  
“None. This is a dry run.”  
“I’ll leave it to the Jedi to declare anything if they find anything. Slide over to lane seven dash aurek which should be visible on your display and you should be able to head straight in. Be ready to transmit your landing clearance when they ask.”  
“Acknowledged.” Reth flicked the comm off. He knew that if he didn’t have clearance when he landed they’d detain him for up to a full day. It didn’t take long for the spaceports to spread that information after a few pilots tried to skirt regulations by heading for the Temple and then hopping in a different lane to bypass security. The spaceports on Coruscant were expensive, and took a while to get to, but way better than being locked in a cell for a day while the Jedi ran down every connection in your life because you lied.  
Reth set the ship down a little slower than he normally would have, but the last ship he’d used with Zavara had been a lot firmer on the repulsors and he could sling them around. Fafnir required a gentler touch.   
He secured the ship, sent the codes in to the dock crew so they could move it to refuel it, and headed inside. He was almost there when he dodged a projectile that looked suspiciously like a hydrospanner.   
“Kriffing, ugh!”  
He stuck his head around the hull of a ship he was too close to identify, hand raised to catch any more happenstance projectiles and saw a girl only a couple years younger than him battling with a bracket bolt on the side of a fuel line that needed replacement.   
“I think you dropped this,” he said, holding the hydrospanner in his hand.  
“Thanks. Throw it at the astromech would you? He can’t tell the difference between a hydrospanner and a zexian wrench.”  
Reth lofted the ‘spanner but slowed it with the Force so the droid could nab it.   
The girl’s jaw dropped.   
“Problem…?”  
“Padawan Karine Duskstrider.”  
“That’s a mouthful.”  
She grimaced. “I was ten. Thought Duskstrider sounded better than “Ninx” when my master first chose me.”  
“You were chosen at ten? Who is your master?”  
“Veradine Hirruk.”  
Reth’s eyes widened. “You’re a Sniper?”  
Her eyes shone in response. “Sure am! Well, almost. A couple more years, but that’s just experience. I finished my Senior studies and don’t have to take classes anymore technically.”  
I couldn’t pass it up.   
“I’d like to hear about how the Sniper program is going at some point from someone in it. Do you have a personal comm code?”  
She grinned at him “Sure.”   
After receiving her code, his comm chimed. “That’s my cue. The Council of First Knowledge waits for none.”  
Her eyes widened like his had. “Are you a Shadow?”  
“Yep. First mission. Already traveling from one end of the galaxy to the other.”   
“I gotta know what that’s like some time. I thought you were a mechanic from the clothes until you used the Force. Then I didn’t know what to think.”  
He laughed. It had been a while since he had done that.  
“You’re not the first person to think I was up to no good, that’s for sure. I’ll comm you sometime and see if we can’t chat about the Sniper program. It's new enough I was already selected as an apprentice before it was created.”  
“Consider it done.”  
Reth left and hit the turbolift. He had originally wanted a shower first because ship sonics weren’t quite the same, but it would have to wait. He’d made a new friend, and that was infinitely more valuable than a shower.   
At least he thought so until he was standing outside the Council of First Knowledge chambers.   
“Really should’ve at least changed into robes,” he grumbled to himself.   
The doors whooshed open and he stepped inside.   
“Reth Haydrien.”  
He bowed his head and again wished he’d at least changed into robes.   
“You look a little...rumpled, Haydrien.” Master Boltar, a Latero, always cut straight to the point.   
“I spoke with one of the new Snipers on the landing platform and it took longer than anticipated, master.”  
“I would hazard a guess and say it was Karine Duskstrider.”  
“Yes, master.”  
Master Pledan sighed, her already long Muun face seeming even more worn. “She keeps getting assigned holocron guard duty because of her outbursts. She’s an excellent Jedi, and if she had undergone any Trials, she’d be nearing her Knighthood, but as it is, she has some more growing up to do.”  
“Does she leave often on missions? Last I knew, guarding the Temple was not the most active of duties compared to a standard Knight.”  
“That is her master’s decision, not ours, Haydrien,” Master Boltar said. The rebuke was gentle, they knew he was endlessly curious, but that topic was clearly closed.   
“Of course. I trust the master’s judgment as I hope most would one day should I ever have a Padawan of my own.”  
Master Rhusoll rumbled a query in Shyrriwook.  
“Yes, master, I do intend to keep the future in mind at all times. After all, it is constantly changing,” Reth smiled through the last bit.   
Master Pledan leaned forward. “What do you have for us?”  
Reth slipped his hands in his pockets, wishing he had robes to fold his hands into instead, and shrugged, “I mostly stopped by for fuel, masters. I was on Dosunn hoping to trace the package’s origin when Lucky, my protocol droid on the asteroid, informed me that the call sign had changed some years back and the sign actually corresponds with Carida. Traveling from Dosunn to Carida, I decided to go ahead and visit the Temple. Refresh myself. Find my center.”  
“Is this too taxing for you?”  
Reth met Pledan’s eyes steadily. “No master. There’s just nothing quite like the Temple out there and given that my time will be spent traveling a lot, I decided to make the most of a free fuel stop and visit you all here.”  
“Reth,” Boltar began, “we don’t doubt your skills. Zavara trained you exceedingly well, and you rose to meet every challenge she set for you. Our concern comes for you as an individual and your mindset and relation to the Force. It's you we are asking about, not your skills.”  
Reth couldn’t keep the surprise from his face, much less behind his mental shields.   
“Master Boltar, I don’t know what to say.”  
Master Rhusoll barked a low command prompt and the room lights dimmed and the door hissed as it sealed.   
“What we say now, can go no further than this room, do you understand Reth?”  
Reth looked at Master Pledan, confused, but agreeable. “Of course.”  
“We have been looking into the turning of the Masters and Knights since the Ruusan Reformation. And we have seen some interesting trends.”  
“What are they?”  
Pledan gestured to a chair and Reth sat, across from them, but since it was only the three of them and him instead of a full Council, there was space.  
“Before the Reformation, many Jedi turned because they were placed in impossible situations, or their assignments kept them deep undercover for long periods of time. Take Revan for instance. He wasn’t exactly undercover, but he had only himself to answer to and because of this, nobody helped keep him in check. He had only his own wisdom to rely on.”  
“One’s own wisdom is never equal to that of two.”  
“A wise saying from your former master.”  
“She didn’t get everything right,” Reth almost spat, surprised by his own vehemence.  
“No, she didn’t. But that she did.”   
Boltar jumped in. “But after the Reformation, when the Jedi began training from infancy instead of adulthood, it was done to avoid another Skere Kaan. We train them in the correct way from the beginning, so they know how to handle things.”  
“A noble idea.”  
“Indeed. However, the Republic has had peace for so long, that when a Jedi ends up in a situation beyond their training, not as rare as you’d think, most don’t handle it well. There is still a stigma around the mental state of a Jedi and that the Force is all sufficient.”  
Reth squinted. “And?”  
Pledan sighed. “This isn’t going the way I wanted it to. Basically, we have had peace for so long that Jedi don’t know how to handle true conflict. We have been peacekeepers for so long, that we are out of our depth when it comes to true emergencies like the near war on Naboo several years ago.”  
Reth nodded. That was the return of the Sith to the forefront of the Jedi’s focus.   
“Jedi are still trained for politics primarily though, not in how to confront a Sith. Or even our own emotions. We are told to release it to the Force, but that’s not the be all and end all that the High Council wishes it was.”  
Reth’s eyes widened. “That’s heresy.”  
Master Rhusoll growled.   
Boltar nodded, “That’s correct, my friend, it is also reality.” She looked at Reth. “If we are truly to be instruments for good, carrying out the will of the Force, we must endeavor to be the best tools we can be. That means a more complete and reliable being.”  
“What are you saying?”  
“That whenever convenient, you have a standing order to meet with a Mind Healer regarding the end of your apprenticeship in order to work through those difficulties.”  
Reth flinched. “What?”  
“Reth, aside from Kenobi, you are the only one in recent years to face a true darksider. You had more training than Kenobi did in preparation for that, but it is also tearing you apart inside. Everyone here can feel it. You need to come to mental terms with it in order to be able to release it to the Force.”  
“That’s not what I’ve been taught at all.”  
“We know that, which is why this conversation is happening in a closed session. I will freely admit, we are using you as a test subject on this. But also, we find ourselves at a loss for how to handle the dark side directly since it's been so long since anyone encountered a true darksider like you did. Generations of Jedi have been taught to deflect blaster bolts, but not genuine lightsaber combat. We have katas, not duels. We’ve learned diplomacy, not how to seek the Will of the Force. We’ve learned how to play politics in order to keep our place of advisement, but if we can’t advise well, we ought not be advising anyone.”  
“I shall have to think on this.”  
Rhusoll growled.   
“Yes, and meditate.”  
“We want you to learn about yourself and how to respond healthily in this situation as it pertains to your relationship with the Force as well, not just for you, but so that when others encounter similar situations, we have a way to guide them instead of throw our hands in the air and say ‘trust the Force’ because that trust is good, but we are also equipped to respond with teachings, otherwise the Jedi wouldn’t need to exist because everyone would be able to answer the same way.”  
Rhusoll flicked a finger at the door and the room unsealed, the lights coming back up, and the door seals unlocked.   
“Thank you, masters. I will keep you apprised of the situation.”  
Master Pledan smiled. “And we thank you for it. Now, take some time to meditate, clean up, and maybe an extra day to soak in the Temple before you head to Carida.”  
“And visit a Mind Healer while I’m here?”  
Rhusoll rumbled an agreement.  
“Thank you, masters.”  
Reth left with a bow, entering the turbolift and heading immediately for the gardens at the base of the tower. If he was gonna sit in the dirt and meditate, he was gonna wash it all off with just one shower later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter, we are getting into a bit more meat here, introducing characters, showing Reth's mental state, etc. Things will pick up in a couple more chapters, but this idea has been percolating for a long time and rushing it doesn't feel right. 
> 
> I gave up on proper formatting because it takes SO long on this site, so pretend there are indents at each paragraph start. :)
> 
> Link to the ship I described.  
> http://www.swtor.com/holonet/starships/xs-freighter


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reth Haydrien meets some old and new acquaintances while at the Temple

Reth was nearly back to his rooms after his meditation between the Memorial Stones in the gardens at the base of the Tower when he realized he’d passed ruminating on his meditations and was in a full mental spiral.   
Meditating on meditations. There’s a fun circle to get into.  
Reth’s meditations hadn’t been as fruitful as he’d hoped, but he knew he was still hesitant to sink too deeply into the Force. He found the presence calming and that’s what he desired. Deeper and deeper and parts of him ached at the injustices across the galaxy that he sensed were happening, but he was powerless in that moment to stop. So he kept it light.   
Probably ought to get a meeting with a Mind Healer scheduled while I’m here. I wouldn’t put it past Rhusoll to ground me until that’s signed off.  
He sent a request to the Med Center as he entered his quarters and received a response before he was even out of the refresher. He confirmed his time for tomorrow morning by adding it to the scheduler in his datapad as he towel dried his hair and perused his collection of robes.   
They were all darker colors.   
The lightest color was a dark brown that would’ve looked fine in Mace Windu’s closet, but most were black, or dark greys. Ostensibly to be useful in the field and nondescript since everyone knew Jedi wore browns and tans, but a few apprentices, particularly Skywalker, preferred the darker colors. Reth could understand that for him. If he’d been a slave on Tatooine as the rumors went, he’d probably never worn anything dark because light colors and sun and sand are a much better combination. Finally getting the chance to flex some independence made sense.   
It was why so many Knights immediately grew facial hair and suddenly needed ties for their hair after they were promoted. Reth’s was getting shaggy out of lack of maintenance more than anything else.   
He settled for a deep navy set of robes with grey tabards, but he kept his sturdy boots, eschewing the taller boots most Jedi tended towards. It was an interesting ensemble, but it worked.  
He left his rooms, secured the latch with a flick of his wrist and a nudge of the Force, hoping nobody saw him using it so casually. That was a holdover from Zavara that he couldn’t quite give up, no matter how much it hurt.   
It helped that his Padawan braid wasn’t there for her to yank on from across the room anymore.   
The cafeteria wasn’t overly full, dinner had been several hours earlier, but with Coruscant always awake and Jedi coming and going at all hours of the day, it was still open. No younger apprentices were around though, just a few Seniors getting in some additional study time while eating.   
“Mind if I join you?”  
Reth didn’t start, but it was a near thing. Karine looked down at him, holding her tray of food.  
“By all means.” He gestured at a chair next to him at the small round table with the bread he had left in his hand.   
“Thanks. I wanted to get more of your story and figured that I had to make the most of the time you were in the Temple.”  
“I’ll be here through at least tomorrow afternoon. Probably turn in early tomorrow and leave before fifth bell the day after. Beat some of the planetary traffic.”  
“Good. We may even be able to get a spar in tomorrow morning. Always wanted to spar a Shadow.”  
Reth chuckled. You know we don’t all carry saberstaffs, right?”   
The resemblance that Karine had to the older holos of Bastila and Satele Shan was fascinating to him.   
Maybe she’s a descendant and that’s why she wants to fight someone with a saberstaff.  
Her dark hair bounced a bit as she grinned. “Yup. But you’re sure to have picked up a few tricks in your travels that aren’t taught in the Temple.”   
Or maybe she’s just smart like that.  
“That’s fair. How is the Sniper program shaping up?”  
She shrugged. “Not bad. Started a few years back when some Understudy of Madame Nu dug up some old archive footage of the Sith attack on the Temple during the Sacking of Coruscant. Saw some Mandalorian woman getting in places she shouldn’t have been able to and that revitalized the whole Temple Security layout. We’ve got the Temple Guards of course, but their training was revamped to handle more than just lightsabers, since the Sith aren’t exactly prevalent these days, even after the whole Naboo thing. They wanted to be able to handle mid-range attacks like blasters, and normal saber training is good for that, but if you can’t deflect a round or someone shows up with slugthrowers, you have no offensive capabilities.”  
Reth nodded, thinking of the Sith Lanvarok he’d been mildly obsessed with when he was younger. Between that and slugthrowers, one could mount an effective attack on the Temple.  
“So they developed the Sniper program. We use our lightsabers at mid range, throwing them in lateral spins and quickly returning them, so I spend a LOT of time practicing my TK, and have a couple extra basic sabers on me when on guard duty.”  
“Wait, basic sabers? You mean training sabers?”  
Karine shook her head, leaned back in her chair, and unhooked her lightsaber, setting it on the table between them.   
“That’s my normal saber.”   
Reth looked at it. It was basic, but not rudimentary. Focused on the fundamentals, but the grip was significantly more ridged than most lightsabers were.   
“Your hands must get destroyed.”  
She shrugged. “Not really. I spent so much time throwing it, I wanted more grip when I needed to snag it out of the air. This is my main saber. I have a few backups that are similar that I carry on patrol. No point in throwing away a weapon and leaving yourself open to attack.”  
He nodded, seeing the tactical sense in it. “Is TK training all you do then since you’re a Sniper?”   
She shrugged, her dark eyes darting down to her food. “You saw me in the hangar earlier, before my guard shift, I was getting in some time with the starfighters. I like ships.”  
“Why didn’t you try to become a pilot then?”  
“When I was younger, I wanted to be.” She looked him in the eye again, mirth dancing through her eyes.  
“The starfighter program was just becoming a reality. Part of the Ruusan Reformation had to be repealed, but they managed to get it passed because it put the burden of ship maintenance and budgets on the Jedi instead of on the Senate, so we had to reallocate some funding around here in order for that to happen. I love ships, but when they decided to create the Sniper program, I felt the nudge. It was odd, most Jedi only feel the Force that specifically in situations like combat from what I’m told, but I’ve always felt these little nudges. Step there, not here, take a left, it's the long way, but you’ll still be on time to class. Things like that. Most of the time I can’t see the ramifications or anything, but my Master always told me to listen to the Force in all things, so I do.” She laughed. “It drives him up a wall sometimes, but he won’t change his teachings just because it frustrates him. He sees it as his need to be more flexible.”  
“Who is your master again?”  
“Veradine Hirruk.”  
“He’s the only long term Temple Guard that everyone knows, isn’t he?”  
She nodded. “Yep. Technically, it's an open secret because he’s always with Master Cin Drallig, and they don’t hide their conversations very well, but he’s also capable and never deployed on anything other than Retrievals.”  
“Retrievals?”  
She cocked her head to the side. “Yeah. When a Jedi goes running off on a transport and leaves their ship behind on a planet. We have to go pick those up, pay for the berthing fees, and bring them back. What did you think happened, the ships just stayed there?”  
Reth shook his head. “We never left a ship behind. Always made it back. We missed a few contacts at times, but we found them again eventually.”  
“Interesting. I guess it's the more run of the mill Master and Padawan teams that tend to do that sort of thing then. Kenobi and Skywalker tend to leave ships all across the galaxy. I like flying ships mind you,” her tone shifted and he could tell she’d said this exact phrase numerous times before, “but I’m gonna have to thank whoever found that archived footage of the Sacking one day, otherwise I’d be picking up after those two all the time.”  
Reth stuck his hand out to shake, and she responded automatically.  
“You’re welcome,” he said.   
“Wait, what?”  
“I was the Padawan that found that footage.”  
She gaped. “Seriously?”  
He grinned, and it felt good. “Yup.”  
“I thought it was someone slated to become the next Chief Librarian, who else would dig that deep into the Archives?”  
“Me, but I was slated to become the next Chief.”  
“How do you go from Understudy to the Chief Librarian, expected Successor, to Jedi Shadow?”  
“That’s a bit of a story. The short answer is Master Zavara ‘plucked me from obscurity’ as she liked to put it.”  
“I don’t think I know her.”  
Reth shook his head and lowered it over the bowl of soup he was only halfway through.  
“You wouldn’t. She was a Shadow, rarely at the Temple. I don’t think she ever taught a class, even on a guest basis.”  
“Was?”  
So she caught that.  
“Yeah.”  
“I’m sorry, Reth.”  
She can’t know. There’s no way she knows.  
“For what?”  
“Losing your master is hard, no matter the circumstances. They’re the closest thing to family we have after the creche. I know we don’t technically have families in the Order, but most sentients are pack beings. A Master/Padawan relationship is almost like a small pack.”  
Reth’s mouth twitched and he went out on a limb. “You’ve been talking to that Shistavanen Knight, Voolvif Monn, haven’t you?”  
She grinned back. “He did a special training session with us the other day and I stuck around afterwards to get his input on a couple of things.”  
“I thought so.”  
A semi-awkward silence descended.  
“So, how about that spar, tomorrow at tenth bell?  
He shook his head. “Better make it eleventh. I have an appointment at ninth bell.”  
She looked at him, puzzled when he wasn’t more forthcoming then shrugged.   
“Most Knights end up gloating a bit about their appointments with the Council, but I guess if you’re a Shadow, you probably can’t say a whole lot.”  
He let her believe that. “You’re not wrong.” There, he wasn’t even lying.   
He picked up his bowl and slurped down the rest of the soup that he’d selected.   
“Reserve a salon tomorrow and send me a message with the location and I’ll be there at eleventh bell.”  
“Yes sir, Master Haydrien,” she chirped.   
He mock glared. “Reth. Please. Even my droid doesn’t call me Master Haydrien.”  
Her grin widened. “You got it.”  
He knew he was going to regret letting her know that.  
He went to the Room of a Thousand Fountains.   
Many Jedi claimed it was their favorite room. And he could see why. On the busy metropolis of Coruscant, this much green was only artificially maintained.   
For him though, it was because Zavara had hated the place.   
He set an alarm for eighth bell and settled into a meditation. 

He’d meant to keep it surface. This meditation was to calm him before his appointment tomorrow.   
He hadn’t meant to fall asleep.   
Sleep and meditation were a dangerous combo for him these days.   
He saw the moment his master fell. Her eyes were yellow. Then purple as she collapsed.  
He saw Mandalorian armor everywhere, in every shade of the rainbow.   
He smelled a desert battlefield.   
He heard the snik of a vibro blade as it slid between someone’s ribs.   
Reth jerked awake and smacked his head on the tree he’d apparently fallen asleep next to.   
“Not how I wanted that to go.”  
His datapad chimed from inside his robes and he grabbed at it.   
Fifteen minutes until my appointment.  
Reth didn’t dash, but it was close enough. He managed to slow himself enough that he wasn’t winded when he arrived at the Halls of Healing. The irony of riding the exact same turbolift down to the Halls that he’d ridden up to get to the Council meeting where this was mandated wasn’t lost on him.   
He entered, passing a Bothan reading on a datapad, and immediately slowed even further. Something about being in a place where calm and healing were desired took some of the purposeful stride from his step.   
“Excuse me,” he spoke softly as he approached the attending droid at the desk. “I have an appointment with Hutek Wan.”  
“Ah, you would be Reth Haydrien, then?” The Bothan from the waiting area stood, pocketing the datapad.   
“I am, master…”  
“Technically, Master Wan, but please call me Hutek.” He gestured through one of the smaller doors leading away from the lobby. “This way.”  
They walked down a short hallway before entering an office with a plain desk, but instead of a holo projector, there was a solid backed screen arranged so only the one sitting in the chair behind the desk could see it.   
Probably for privacy reasons. Reth mused.   
Hutek led Reth past the desk through a door in the rear of the office to a small meditation style room. There were a couple of comfortable looking chairs, some floor pillows, and a window, which upon closer inspection was actually a flat screen designed to mimic the outside.   
“Chairs or floor,” Reth asked.  
“You pick, this is your session.”  
“Floor then. The chairs make it feel like a scene from a holodrama.”  
Hutek chuckled. “I was unaware that you were familiar with those particular programs,” he said as they dropped to the floor cushions.  
Reth smiled slightly. “Master Zavara enjoyed them. We ended up in a few deep, dark holes on some of our missions, but they always had them playing on at least one screen in the cantinas and bars.”  
“Since you brought her up, would you like to start with her, or no?”  
Reth gaped. “That was rather forward, and I’ll be honest, I’m not sure how to respond when asked how I want my own treatment to go.”  
“I have studied many different treatments over the years for many different maladies. The mind is inextricably entwined with the heart in most sentients. As Jedi, we are taught from an early age to release our emotions to the Force.” Hutek paused. “But in doing so, we unbalance the equation of life. The Force, at least the light side, is the side of life. Operating by logic alone is not of the Force, but neither is the Force without logic. We must understand and experience both in order to make the best decisions in how we serve the Force.”  
Reth studied the Bothan in front of him. “That sounds like heresy.”  
Hutek laughed. “To some. To others it is wisdom. After all, as often as we are told to release our feelings in the creche and through our apprenticeships, we are never told not to acknowledge our emotions. Indeed, we must acknowledge them first, so that we are even able to release them.”  
“That sounds disturbingly close to what Master Zavara believed.”  
Hutek leaned forward. “Tell me, what makes a person evil: their actions or their beliefs.”  
“Both, one feeds the other.”  
“Ah, but they can also be acted on independently. I can believe one thing, and do something contrary to that belief because I logically know it to be a bad decision, even as my emotions demand the opposite.”   
“That’s a new one.” Reth leaned back on his elbows.   
“You can see why this is not a discussion most would have. In fact,” he paused and squinted at Reth, “the Order has for many generations believed that the Force is enough. It's only been in the last several decades even that a discussion of one’s emotional and mental wellbeing has entered into the equation.”  
“And those who brought it up were cast out.”  
“Not officially, but Djinn Altis has a few more followers than he did before.”  
“I’d almost forgotten about his sect.”  
“It's easy to lose track of minor things like that when you’re on long deployments such as your apprenticeship.”  
Reth fingered some of the fringe on the floor cushion. “This isn’t how I expected this session to go.”  
Hutek smiled. “Lots of prodding questions anticipated then?”  
“Yes.”  
“Reth, the Council gave me your file specifically. Your comm channel immediately routed to my appointment book. They knew what they were doing. I’m somewhat of a renegade myself when it comes to some of these things, but I do my hours in the med bay and operate with discretion regarding some of my less popular ideas. We are breaking ground in entirely new ways to view the Force. We can’t do that with traditional methods.”  
“That’s an excellent point.”  
“I know, that’s why I made it.”   
They both laughed and Reth sobered.  
“It's hard to think about her sometimes.”  
“Only sometimes?”  
Reth bobbed his head. “Okay, all the time. The older memories are easier. The more recent ones…”  
“You feel like you let her down.”  
“And myself!” he exploded. “I’m a Jedi Shadow, I was training to be one for years and she still fell and I didn’t notice until I caught her in the act!”  
“We are all blinded by familiarity, Reth.”  
“Well I shouldn’t be. That’s the one thing I’m supposed to be on the lookout for. And I failed.”  
“You also didn’t.”  
He paused. “What?”  
“You ended a Dark Sider before she was able to manipulate anybody else or amass any sort of power base.”  
“I almost didn’t.”  
“Almost doesn’t matter. You’re better for it now, and you will continue to improve in your mission, and you will not make the same mistakes as before.”  
“No, just different ones,” Reth said sullenly.  
“What, you think Knights don’t make mistakes? Or Masters? By the Force, Reth, the way we are having this conversation is because a few of us think the entire High Council is making a mistake in the doctrine of the order. That’s practically sedition.”  
“I guess you’re right.”  
“Reth, you aren’t the only Jedi to see a Dark Sider. One of the few modern ones, yes, but not the only one. If possible, I’ll arrange for you to converse with Kenobi about his battle with the Sith and how he handled his master’s death. It's not the same, mind you, but similar enough to warrant connecting the two of you.”  
“I appreciate it, Master Hutek.”  
“Just Hutek, please. And I’d like you to drop me a line whenever you need to. I’ll send you my personal comm code so you have someone else to talk to.”  
Reth was touched.   
“Thank you.”  
“Reth, the life of a Shadow is a lonely one in general. Yours will be more lonely than most due to your young age. You didn’t have many friendships because of your apprenticeship, and you haven’t had the benefit of assignments that cause you to return to the Temple for Seminars and Clinics. Please make some friends in your travels and send me anything you have regarding emotional intelligence. The galaxy is changing daily, and the Jedi are not. Eventually, we will be bygones unless we learn to adapt.”  
“There’s that seditious language again,” Reth said with a wry smile.   
“Only if the High Council hears it,” Hutek grinned back.   
“I will do so.”  
“Good. Now, I think we’ve laid the groundwork here. I’d like to keep in touch with you even when you aren’t in the Temple. Thus the comm code. Contact me whenever you’d like and I’ll endeavor to reach back out when I can.”  
“Thank you.”  
“Reth, this is important. To you personally, and as my patient I want to see the best for you, but also for the Order. Imagine a day where we don’t have to worry about situations like yours anymore because we have the understanding to communicate things properly instead of through platitudes that are centuries old.”  
“It will be a fine day indeed.”  
“Good. Now, I believe you have a spar to get to.”  
Reth gaped. He hadn’t been hiding his spar, but he hadn’t exactly announced it either.   
“What, you think the rumor mill around the Temple is less active with a new Shadow around?”  
Reth coughed. “Yeah, I can see how that would make the mill come alive a bit more.”  
“If you don’t mind, I’d like to observe.”  
“Fine with me, as long as Karine doesn’t mind.”

A short time later, Reth and Hutek were in one of the larger training salons, walking up to Karine.   
“Master Hutek, this is Karine Duskstrider.”  
“Well met, Master Hutek. I read your commentary on Yolanda Buth’s theories of mass shared hallucination in sentients. I hadn’t considered the Force as something that would affect people without a strong connection to it, but if the Force is in all living things, I can see how that could cause some of those odd circumstances.”  
Hutek was caught flat footed and Reth could tell.   
“I don’t think Hutek is used to being taken seriously, Karine. Thank you for showing me that he is as normal as the rest of us.”  
Hutek laughed. “Normal. Not something I’ve been accused of in a long time.”  
Reth looked around as the other two dug further into the details of Hutek’s commentaries.   
They were in a large salon, sharing a space. He figured that most Master/Padawan teams were in the smaller chambers that ringed the larger ones, so Karine had more than likely just been able to reserve a section of the larger room.  
Which put them in the same general space as Master Cin Drallig’s Specialized class. Not normally an issue, but it was being substitute taught right now.   
By Rana Melne.  
“This is going to go well,” Reth mumbled.   
“Huh?” Karine looked confused.   
“Nothing. Let’s get started.”  
Hutek moved off to the side of their designated area.   
“Rules,” Karine asked.   
“Non-lethal, stay within the boundaries, if you get pushed outside the boundaries, the point goes to the other, but if you use the Force to throw someone outside in an overt display the one thrown gets the point. Master Hutek referees. Let’s focus on control.”  
Karine flashed her teeth in a predatory smile. “Control is what I excel at.”  
Hutek raised his hand and they took their ready positions. Reth raised his lightsaber in a Djem So opening while Karine held an empty hand in front of her, lightsaber in a reverse grip behind her.   
Hutek’s hand dropped.   
Karine whipped her lightsaber forward in a wicked throw, the blade spinning in a whirlwind of green light, Reth brought his saber down hard, smacking the blade causing the hilt to hit the salon floor and bounce while he lunged over it at Karine who pulled another lightsaber to parry Reth’s sideswipe.   
She got her blade in place but had to hold the hilt with both hands against his larger size and strength.  
Reth felt a twitch behind him and brought his saber around behind him, blade parallel to his back, parried Karine’s first blade as it spun back to her, and whirled two steps away from Karine.   
“Nice opening. I was worried you’d damaged my saber at first.”  
“If it was a training saber I probably would have, but since it's your personal one I tried not to break it.”  
“Appreciated.”   
Karine leapt forward, blades spinning in a daring corkscrew maneuver, clearly aided by the Force.   
Reth blocked as best he could, but the two blades were moving far too fast for him to block both at the angles they were coming in and Karine scored a point, his robes taking the hit.  
“Good thing you don’t have to wear robes like a real Jedi when you’re working, eh Haydrien?”  
Karine’s face clouded over in confusion.   
Reth turned to face the speaker.   
“Hello, Rana.”  
“That’s Knight Melne to you.”  
“Of course. I apologize for the familiarity, my former creche mate.”  
Jedi weren’t supposed to be petty, but he hadn’t started it.   
“I take it you two know each other then,” Hutek had come over.   
Karine was watching. So was the Specialized class.   
“We go all the way back to the creche. Used to sneak into the library after hours to read about the Sith,” Rana said. “Some of us probably should have studied a bit harder to learn to recognize them.”  
Reth couldn’t breathe. Karine looked confused. The Specialized class couldn’t believe their teacher was behaving this way, and it showed on their faces.   
If only the galaxy could see we Jedi are as idiotic as the rest of them at times.  
“I’m sorry you feel that way, Knight Melne.”  
“Yeah, you’re sorry. You should be apologizing to the Council. If I’d been Zavara’s apprentice, she wouldn’t have turned and would still be alive.”  
Hutek leaned in, but Reth held up a hand. Amazing how fast their friendship had cemented, he could feel the indignation rolling off Hutek in waves.   
“Alas, it was not my choice to be her Padawan. She made that decision herself.”  
Rana glared. “Go back to the Library where you belong, Understudy.”  
“Always nice to see former members of the wolf clan getting along.” Master Plo Koon had arrived.   
I’d heard about Master Plo. A ferocious duelist, but I had no idea what he was like personally. Or that he’d been in the wolf clan in the creche.  
“Instructor Melne.” Rana winced at being reminded of her role today. “You are relieved of this class. Report to the Meditation room, immediately. They know you’re coming.”   
Rana glared at me and all but ran out of the salon.  
I’m sure she thought her stride was purposeful, not hurried.   
“My apologies, Knight Haydrien, that you were unable to complete your spar without her interference.”  
“Not a problem Master Plo.”  
“I can’t be specific, but know that her actions today will not be swept under the rug.”  
My eyes widened. Rana got away with everything growing up. It's why she always took the fall when we got caught in the Archives.   
“Seeing as she left behind a class, would you be willing to forego the rest of your duel for now and finish teaching this session, my understanding is they’re just getting started.”   
How do you turn down a member of the High Council?  
“Alright. I think I can do that.”  
Reth looked at Karine and gestured for her to come over.   
“Wanna help me with this class?”  
She nodded, and they both looked at Hutek. The dark fur on his face parted as he grinned.   
“I’m not missing this for the world.”  
“With that in mind, perhaps I ought to sit in as well,” Master Plo rumbled.   
Wonderful. A Sniper who has more intense dueling standards than I do, a Healer who focuses on the mind and toes the line of heresy, and a member of the High Council all watching me teach a class. What could go wrong?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've told a few people this, but I recommend keeping an extra tab open to look things up on Wookiepedia if you don't understand something in the chapter. I try to throw explainers in, but I don't want the dialogue to feel stilted between characters.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reth learns about Karine and meets an old teacher who helps him through a dark moment.

“Take a quick seat everyone,” Reth said. He puffed out a breath as the students dropped to the floor of the salon. 

“When does a Jedi fight?” Reth asked. 

“When he has no other choice,” one of the students piped up. 

“But we always have a choice,” Reth countered. “We could just die.”

They stewed a bit with that. 

“They fight when they can protect the innocent from harm,” a new voice said. A Nautolan. 

“How does a Jedi know they are innocent?” Plo Koon didn’t stiffen, but his head tilted, wondering where this was going.

“When they aren’t involved in the conflict at hand.”

“A hypothetical then: a slaver is about to open fire on a marketplace in order to get away. Does a Jedi step in?”

A Togrutan pupil raised their hand and asked, “What does this have to do with lightsaber combat?”

“We’re getting there. What does a Jedi do?”

“Stop the slaver and protect as many as possible.”

“And if it's a slave market, operating in Republic space?”

“Protect the slaves.”

“What if the sellers are slaves themselves so that their masters never have to be seen in public?”

_ Now I have their attention. _

“The way you’ve constructed the argument means that we will never know the entire outcome since it is based on information only you have,” a Twi’lek male said. 

“Stand up.”

The student stood, with only a bit of tension.

“What is your name?”

“Nokrafes Utilien.”

“And what would you prefer I call you?”

He looked surprised but recovered quickly.

“Nok, sir.”

“Excellent Nok, you get to spar with Karine.”

Karine looked excited, Nok looked horrified.

“Why me, sir?”

Hutek’s aura had tinges of amusement.

“I built a scenario in front of you all as you answered my questions. I unraveled each point before you and you had to keep coming up with reasons to know when to fight. What none of you said, but Nok started figuring out, was that you will  _ never _ know one hundred percent of the situation you are walking into. Ever. You learn new things in classes each day, your missions will never go the way you want them to, the Senate will never do what you think it should, and the Council will always hold back information that should not be spread to the entire Order,” Master Plo stiffened, but Reth continued, pretending he didn’t notice. “But it  _ will _ inform their decisions and you don’t always  _ need _ to know everything. You can’t. What you  _ do _ need is to trust in the Force. It will inform and guide your actions. It will tell you when to strike and hold back. You must  _ constantly _ rely on the Force in order to be attuned to its will. Not just in dire mission circumstances, but in all things, stay open to its possibilities. Without that, you will be operating on pure logic or not operating at all because you don’t have all the information.”

He turned and looked at Karine.

“I want you to fight without using the Force. Just your katas and ingrained movements. No throwing.”

Reth looked at Nok. “I want you to open yourself to the Force as much as you can for this fight. Don’t think. Don’t try and use specific movements. Just trust the Force. The worst you will get here today is a burn, and we have bacta.”

Nok didn’t look convinced, but he nodded without checking with the other two masters at hand. Karine looked determined. Her entire fighting style was based on using the Force almost intuitively, so she’d be at a disadvantage there, but she was a Senior Padawan, and these were Middles. Those that had been chosen as apprentices, but weren’t on constant missions in order to preserve their classroom studies. 

The students rose and cleared a space for Karine and Nok to duel. Reth activated the lights embedded in the floor to create a circle for them. 

They took ready stances. Karine kept her reverse grip on her main saber, telegraphing Shien. Not surprising given her training. 

Nok took an opening stance of Ataru and waited for the starting signal. 

“Begin.”

Karine swung her saber and Nok actually vaulted clean over her, half spinning and coming down behind her. He looked surprised at himself and nearly didn’t catch Karine’s blind backslash, hoping to catch her opponent off guard when facing the opposite direction still.   
He caught it and pushed, causing her to step forward since she was still facing the other direction, and she spun, grabbing a second lightsaber from her belt, but kept it unlit. 

Nok lunged forward in a daring stab, Karine slashed one saber down to force his saber into the floor and held the other one aimed right at his face. 

Nok ducked right as her lightsaber flashed on and Karine dropped it, immediately extinguishing the blade and Nok leapt from his lower crouch up, straight into her chest, bodily tackling her, using the Force to fling the rest of her lightsabers from her belt to the side. 

“Stop,” Reth called. 

Karine was stunned, Nok was wide eyed but focused. 

The Force sang through the room. 

“Let her up.”

Nok rose and offered Karine a hand which she took, grudgingly. 

“Were any of Nok’s movements from a kata?”

The class shook their heads. One stopped before the others and cocked her head to the side. A Tholothian female. 

“You have an additional thought?” Reth prompted her. 

Her eyes didn’t focus on him, but she began speaking. “They were from a mixture of disciplines.”

Reth tried not to smile and failed.  _ Some fierce Shadow you are. _

“Continue.”

“His movements were...not disjointed because they flowed too well, but they weren’t designed to work together in a kata.”

“Correct, that was not a specific form. I told Nok to let the Force lead in this exercise. It guided his movements. Karine was completely on her own, not using the Force at all. What can we infer from this?”

“That it’s better to follow the Force than not.”

Reth nodded. “There’s a bit more nuance to that, but yes. For the rest of this session I want you to pair off and spar. One of you will use the Force and let it guide your actions completely, and the other will not use the Force at all. I want you to understand the difference in feelings so you know when to follow the Force and not your own instincts.”

The class nodded and stood, pairing off, while Master Plo came over to Reth. 

“An interesting lesson, Knight Haydrien.”

“Reth, please. I don’t feel like a Knight very often these days.”

“Reth it is. But I read your report on the circumstances surrounding your elevation. You behaved as a Knight of this order, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”

“Thank you, master.”

“I must admit, this lesson has me wondering a few things though.”

Reth nodded. “Like why tell them to train without the Force?”

“No, more curious as to how much of that you’ve done.”

Reth grimaced. “We followed a lead to Myrkr a couple years ago. Worst two weeks of my life being unable to touch the Force except sporadically. It gave me an incredible appreciation for it now, and I want them to be able to follow it at a moment’s notice if needed.”

“Not all of their masters would approve of that teaching method.”

Reth looked at Master Plo, trying to gauge whether he did or not.

“Then thankfully if they don’t, I’m just the crazy Shadow who taught the class one day.”

Master Plo laughed. “Indeed, you are. I may have to have you give a seminar next time you’re back in the Temple. I’m sure you will have some interesting thoughts regarding the Force after even more time away from the Wellspring below.”

He walked off and Reth stood there stunned. 

_ The Wellspring. _ That was only ever mentioned in hushed whispers around the glow lamp after hours in the Padawan dorms. Was the Wellspring real?

_ Not important right now _ .

Karine stood looking at him as the class continued, questions apparent in her eyes. 

After nearly an hour of sparring, changing partners around so they wouldn’t get too used to each other, the bell sound tolled through the training salon and the Specialized class looked to Reth to make sure it was okay to leave. 

“You did well today. Try limiting your Force use during certain activities throughout the week and see if you can sense it more during your lessons. You don’t report to me, but it might be an interesting exercise.”

“Thank you Master Haydrien,” the class said as one before heading to the showers. 

Karine managed to keep her questions to herself until the commissary where she hurriedly loaded two trays and shoved Reth to an alcove that held a small table. 

“Reth, that was a phenomenal lesson, but what in the Nine Corellian Hells happened to you in there?”

Where had that come from? 

“What do you mean?”

“You were a  _ really good _ teacher. I’ve seen substitute instructors fold under the pressure of teaching in less than five minutes and you kept them occupied the entire lesson.”

“I didn’t have a lesson plan that I had to follow. Rana didn’t exactly leave one behind.”

“And that’s another thing! When were you going to tell me that Rana Melne was your creche mate? She’s one of the best starfighter pilots in the Order.”

Reth looked at her with wide eyes. 

“I don’t know. I’ve only known you a couple of days.”

“Well you, my friend, and yes I say friend because you want me to skip all the flowery master nonsense, are going to tell me everything.”

“Karine, I appreciate you doing this for me, but you don’t have to.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You’re an empath. I can tell. You can probably sense that I don’t like to talk about certain things, but forcing me to do so won’t help.”

She reared back. “I’m an empath. That’s true. But if you think I’m doing this for you and not for myself, you’re dumber than you look.”

“What?”

“I get one shot at being out in the galaxy. Master Hirruk is an excellent teacher, but he is very nearly Temple bound. I’d like to get out and see the galaxy a bit more before I become a Sniper full time. And Retrievals don’t count since I only ever see the spaceport.”

“I guess that makes sense. But why not tell your master?”

She hung her head. “I have. I got a bit of a lecture on knowing my place and doing what’s best for the Order, not what’s best for me. Which I  _ get _ , but he’s been off to all kinds of interesting places already. I’m a couple years from being Knighted at most, and if I don’t get out and do anything else, I’ll be stuck here in the Temple on guard duty as soon as I’m Knighted because it's all I’ll be good for.”

“You know most of the rest of the galaxy isn’t all it's cracked up to be, right? And while Naboo and Alderaan are nice, most the places we go as Jedi aren’t the nice parts, unless you’re a Consular.” Reth poked her shoulder with the Force. “And you don’t strike me as a diplomat.”

Karine cracked a smile. “Yeah, not so much.”

“There. Don’t worry about it. Rana Melne isn’t worth the conversation most of the time anyway.”

“I’ve only been off Coruscant twice.”

_ Now THAT is different for a Jedi. _

“What?”

“I spent time on Centax II, which is basically Coruscant's backyard since it's a satellite, and I went on a Padawan expedition to Kashyyk where I happened to find my lightsaber crystal. I never even went to Ilum because I already had it when I went to build my lightsaber.”

“I see.”

“If I could meet Rana Melne and she could get me into starfighter training, I might be able to get out of the Temple more often. I’m willing to be a Sniper and I’m thankful that they trust me with the security of the Temple, but I don’t wanna miss out on the rest of the galaxy either.”

“That makes sense. I’ll see what I can do.”

Karine nodded and we resumed our lunch, eating in not quite silence. She pulled out a datapad and browsed something, so I began drafting a mission report for what I would find on Carida, and made note of the new comm frequencies I had now, and to keep an eye out for different studies while abroad in the galaxy for Hutek. 

_ Who knew Karine and Hutek would be interested in the same things? _

_ I better see Madame Nu while I’m here, or she’ll never let me hear the end of it.  _

It was a short trip from the commissary to Archives after lunch, Karine had a guard shift, and Reth found Madame Nu bent over a data terminal in the main hall. 

“Forgive me, Madame Nu, I was hoping you had a moment to spare.”

She looked up and smiled. 

“For you, anytime you need.” They embraced and while it was uncommon for Jedi to publicly display affection for each other, it was not unheard of. Affection was allowed, after all, just not attachment. 

“What brings you to the Archives, Master Haydrien?”

Reth blushed. “Madame Nu, I’m nobody’s master. Please just call me Reth.”

She smiled what Reth imagined a grandmother might smile like and said, “then I’m Jocasta to you, you know that.”

“Well, Jocasta, that still feels strange, I mostly came to see you. I leave for Carida tomorrow morning quite early and didn’t want to miss the chance to see you.”

“Reth, you know you didn’t have to do that.”

“I wanted to.” He cast his eyes up at the cases that held countless data cards, all interfacing directly with the terminals in the Hall and indirectly through the Temple networks. “It's nice to be back here. Amongst the quiet. And the certainty.”

She led him to a set of benches near the back of the Hall.

“I always knew you had a heart for knowledge Reth. And I will admit I was quite cross for a time with your master when she took you away from me, but I can see now that while the life of a Shadow may be lonely, you will do well with it. And finding a Shadow to train is far harder than finding an Understudy.”

“That’s true.”

“I must say though, I heard how your apprenticeship ended and I want to convey my condolences. Attachment may be forbidden by the Code, but a Master and Apprentice are tied together in ways the Code doesn’t understand.”

Reth hung his head, feeling some of the tension leave his shoulders. “Thank you, Jocasta.”

“I don’t know what anyone else has told you, but I want you to know, that just because it ended poorly doesn't mean your entire apprenticeship was bad. You can focus on the good parts and still remember the bad without tainting the good things.”

“It's so hard to not remember how things ended though,” Reth choked out. 

“Of course it is! Because it  _ matters _ and was so  _ good _ for so long. That change is hard, but don’t forget that it wouldn’t hurt so much if it hadn’t been so good.”

Reth stood abruptly and spun into one of the side study rooms, Madame Nu following him.

She closed the door, darkened the transparisteel walls with a flick of her wrist at the control panel and held Reth as he cried. 

**Author's Note:**

> It has been a LONG time since I posted fanfiction anywhere, but I outed myself as a writer, so here's part of the playground I like to hang out on. I don't own anything, obviously, or the Sequel trilogy would've had an actual plan. Playing a little fast and loose with the chronology at first, and this story will lean heavily Legends continuity, but I'm not opposed to adding canon things in. Its my own little twist on Star Wars anyway, so what I say goes.


End file.
